X-Men Episode 6: Snow isn’t Weather-Related

Notice that Hisako is powered up when the X-Men are attacked initially, but then depowers at some point once the battle with the U-Men starts. Whatever, I just hate going into battle with my completely impregnable battle armor too.

Summary: What is this, I don’t even…okay, this episode. Hisako continues to mostly outperform Storm and Wolverine in combat for no reason, the X-Men continue to have great difficulty with the “the U-Men have analyzed your powers and are using them against you” concept, and everything I thought I understood about the whole secondary mutation/DHS thing is kind of thrown out the nearest window and into the snow. Lots of snow. On the plus side, Beast does stuff.

Brief, one-paragraph wrap-up for those not watching this show, a.k.a. SMART PEOPLE: the X-Men go back to Japan. Beast administers a vaccine to all the mutants in the area, except the vaccine apparently now prevents and retards secondary mutation period, not what they’ve been calling “David Haller Syndrome” this whole time. A U-Man shoots down the X-Men’s Blackbird and then cleans the X-Men’s clocks for a while before Beast figures out how to defeat him, then the team wanders around in the snow for a while because they’re completely helpless without their Blackbird. Finally, they find a house and ask for shelter- because the bespectacled scientist-lady inside the circle of the area they’re specifically investigating obviously isn’t suspicious. Dear God.

Hisako's friends and family are cool with the fact that she's now been put in a life-threatening situation, because she looks cool in her uniform. That pretty much seems to be the logic at work here.

Two things happened frequently in this episode: the X-Men would draw a conclusion based on a fact that didn’t seem to correlate to it at all, leading me to say “Wait, how do you figure that?”, or the X-Men would puzzle out something incredibly obvious that led me to say “Wait, you’re just figuring this out NOW?”

Example of the first: Cyclops concludes that because the U-Men have their own Cerebro-esque mutant-sensing technology, that must mean they aren’t the ones blocking Cerebro. What? Why would that mean that? Wouldn’t the fact that the U-Men have developed similar technology make it MORE likely that they would have the capacity to block it as well?

Example of the second: The X-men are shocked, SHOCKED to learn that the U-Men have their own mutant-sensing device. Considering that they’ve now had to deal with the U-Men analyzing their powers and counteracting them in not one, but two battles now, why is it a shock that the group has MUTANT-SENSING technology? “Wait, we already knew that they could take data from our powers and develop extensive countermeasures, but they can SENSE OUR LOCATIONS as well? Oh my stars and garters!”

We’ll Vaccinate You For…Something

In accordance with the X-Men's "If you're standing nearby, we can use you," policy, Hisako's friend Kyouko helps out with the vaccinations. A young human around tons of mutants undergoing traumatic secondary mutations they can't control? Sounds perfectly safe!

I admit to having no idea what’s going on with the whole secondary mutation/DHS plotline anymore. I thought that secondary mutations were neutral- not good, not bad, just a thing that happens. Like original mutations, come to think of it. However, apparently Beast’s vaccine now retards secondary mutation itself- so, if someone is developing a secondary mutation at all, the vaccine stops it.

Why would they want to do that? That would be like retarding Emma’s secondary mutation when she could only turn one arm into diamond or something. I thought the vaccine was for DHS, which is like the cancer of secondary mutations, NOT secondary mutation itself.

I don’t know if I’m explaining this well, in part because this whole thing is so convoluted to begin with, but it’s like this: Let’s say for the whole show, they’d been talking about how terrible cardiac disease is. Then, all of sudden instead of talking about the disease, they say “Clearly, the problem is that you have a heart- No heart, no heart disease!”

Storm Fans: The Latest Insult

Storm is now so useless that she cannot melt snow and ice because she thinks that these things are completely unrelated to weather. That is all.

Introducing Yui Not-Ikari

Doesn't she just ooze "trustworthyness?"

As soon as they started mentioning Sasaki Yui a couple of episodes back, I kept thinking of another anime Yui- next thing you know, I had a mental image of Eva Unit 01 biting off Cyclops’ head, and life was good. Unfortunately, this does not appear to be the Yui I was looking for.

I’m irritated that this team of X-Men is so stupid that they took no cold-weather protection to northern Japan, leaving them so vulnerable that they have to knock on a lady’s door and basically beg for her kindness. Sure, you could say that all of their cold-weather stuff was on the Blackbird, but there’s such a thing as dressing for the weather- they could have had some supplies on their persons. Plus, Emma could have NOT been half naked for absolutely no reason.

As a result, I’m really not that invested in what happens anymore, because these people are so stupid that whatever happens to them at this point will have been brought on themselves, really. I’ll continue to watch because I’ve gotten this far already, but it’s really difficult to take this show seriously- no, make that impossible to take seriously- when the writers can’t seem to create any drama without making these characters both weak (Storm, often Wolverine) and dumb (absolutely everyone.)

Next Time, on X-Men:

Well, it won't be a shock now that you've told us, will it?

 

6 thoughts on “X-Men Episode 6: Snow isn’t Weather-Related”

  1. I do like reading your X-Men posts, don’t get me wrong, but I’d really like to see more of the Tomb Raider articles. They were my favorite!

  2. Karen, we need to stage an intervention. You can’t keep subjecting yourself to crummy X-Men stories without some sort of counterbalance.

    As an official comic book physician, I prescribe New X-Men by Grant Morrison.

    Please. For your own sake.

  3. More are on the way, I just held off on them for a while because they’re time consuming, and time has been in short supply ever since I moved into my new place. But thanks for letting me know you read them, I have no intention of stopping:).

  4. @Dustin: Lol, been there, done that. I never got around to reading Here Comes Tomorrow, but I read 90% of Morrison’s run. Good stuff, if more than a little strange at times. Morrison was the only one who made Cyclops/Emma work in my opinion.

  5. I’ve been thinking of dropping X-Men from my viewing list I just am getting tired of it too….what have they done to Storm??? Heck she was the reason that got me into Watching it! Now she might me the reason I might be Dropping it….I have been behind doing my viewing of this series and will probably drop it in Favor of watching some Older Anime like Zeta Gundam and Gundam 08th MS Team.

    -Right now I need a REAL GOOD Toonami Fix after reading the last 2 X-Men Articles-

    I watched this series up to the point of Cyclops getting Punched by a Girl, I feel that after seeing that, I’m good and don’t need to watch the series anymore lol

    And I haven’t read any of the new X-Men Stuff [Last X-Men title I read was the Rise and Fall of the Shi’ar Empire and Emperor Vulcan]

  6. I’m not dropping it just because I feel like if I’ve bothered to invest in it for this long, I should see where it goes. But I certainly wouldn’t blame anyone else for giving up.

    I think the last time I read X-Men comics was before the whole Messiah Complex arc- I just felt like these storylines they’re trying to run with are increasingly at odds with the series premise, or even anything that was remotely interesting about it. Plus, the inconsistency from writer to writer made it impossible for me to believe in the characters- every character is whatever that series’ writer feels like making them at the time…it feels like a series of vaguely connected fan fics.

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